LIFE: TRAVELING WITH CHILDREN

Not too long ago, I had this crazy idea that I should go on holiday with my kids. So, I did.

Everyone said I was insane, that I should take someone with me, or leave them behind, or not go at all. Everyone assumed it would be too much to handle, that I would regret it, that it would be exhausting and not a lot of fun. 

Everyone was right.
But also wrong.
But mostly, right.

You see, I had a US visa that was expiring in the summer, and my aunt in Los Angeles had been urging me to visit for many years now. She had yet to meet the children, aged 3 and 2, and only knew them through my Instagram posts. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to plan a nice summer holiday with the children and go visit my aunt and cousin in LA. My husband could not accompany me, because he had work commitments to see to. Anyone in their right mind would think that would put a stop to my plans or at least delay them for another time, but I had an expiring visa coming up, so I was determined to see it through, confident in my abilities to handle the children on my own. 

I made all the arrangements, booked the flights, applied for my annual leave, and set out to apply for US visas for the children. Ironically, I ended up having to apply for a new US visa anyway, but hey…minor detail.

We just got home a few hours ago, after what felt like the longest two weeks of my life, and here’s some of what I’ve experienced and learned through this extraordinary adventure that I’ve decided to embark on with the children.

First, it is important to note that it will take you about a week to pack for a two week vacation in the US with two toddlers. 

Give or take. 

What with all the “what ifs” and different scenarios you play out in your head, before you know it, you’ll find yourself packing up their entire closet (and 65% of yours). Of course, there are the main suitcases that you’ll check in, but then there are also the extra carry ons filled with extra changes of clothes and diapers and entertainment for the 16 hour flight. Then there are things like the stroller and the portable travel cot (which I thought was a good idea, but was actually completely unnecessary) that you have to account for. Let’s just say, it’s a pain in the ass. 

I planned everything for the 16 hour flight. I booked Business class tickets, for my son and I. My daughter, who is still under 2 is considered an infant, and therefore does not require a ticket. I booked Business class tickets because I needed the bigger seats, the space, and with a third passenger (i.e. my infant daughter), I definitely needed to utilize those bigger seats to fit 3 humans. I went to a doctor and got an official prescription for a couple of medicines that would aid in putting my children to sleep. I prepared all sorts of entertainment in the form of arts and crafts, books, toys, and of course, the iPad, which I filled with their favorite movies and videos. I also had an extra backpack that I filled with all sorts of snacks and drinks.

The flight was not as bad as it could have been, but it did not go as smoothly as I hoped it would. No matter how prepared you think you are, kids will remain kids, and they are unpredictable, crafty and devious creatures. The medicine that was prescribed to put them to sleep ended up making them hyper for about 2 hours straight, before they finally passed out from exhaustion. They were not interested in any of the snacks that I had prepared for them. They fought and argued over the iPad, making a scene in the airplane, and I discovered that two Business class seats are not enough for 3 humans, after all. There were two instances that really preoccupied them for a good period of time though. The first was magical play-dough! I had packed play-dough with me, and the minute I took it out, there was complete peace and (some) quiet for a good hour or two. The other was Etihad’s in-flight entertainment, believe it or not! It was their first time trying on headphones, and they were mesmerized by the idea that they had to have these strange head gears on, in order to put sound to the moving pictures.

That being said, it passed. And traveling as a single parent with two children below the age of three, I can tell you, it was manageable. To emphasize how unpredictable kids can be, on the way back, both children slept for 11 hours straight and it was the smoothest ride ever!

The real adventure began, however, once we reached LA, and settled into my aunt’s home. We had to deal with the jet lag, and what that meant was that their sleep routine went out the window. I tried really hard to stick to all the usual routines and habits that we followed at home, but that’s easier said than done. I had to learn to let things go, because when traveling you really can’t get hung up about the routines you followed at home, or you’ll end up being irritated the whole time. 

My aunt and I tried to make plans for how we would be spending each day, the things we - I - wanted to see and visit, and the places we - I - wanted to go. Unfortunately, with children - jet lagged children especially - that did not always work out and our plans also went out the window. Every single trip we made, every single outing we had, one or both of the kids ended up falling asleep while I lugged the annoyingly inconvenient double stroller around. I tried to plan specific outings just for them: pool days, beach days, Disney and Universal Studios to meet their favorite characters, Chuck-E-Cheese and other play areas for them to run around and have a good time. Their sudden mood swings, which I attribute to the jet lag and being away from their comfort zone (i.e. home), made that difficult. There is a specific point in the day when they would become extremely grumpy and nothing you say, or do, or offer them will pacify them. The only thing to do is to go back home. I confess, this became frustrating for me, and a lot of our outings were cut short. So we ended up having to divide and conquer, and with the support and help of my amazing aunt and cousin, I was still able to have an enjoyable holiday and see most of the things I wanted to see in LA. 

I won’t lie, there is a lot of guilt that goes with that. Leaving your kids behind, who you have brought with you on holiday, to go and do some sightseeing on your own, will make you feel a lot of guilt.

Traveling with children is emotionally and physically draining, and there’s so much that goes into it that no one considers. Like having to constantly carry extra bags of clothes and diapers, water and snacks, maneuvering a double stroller around busy streets and crowds, having to find a restroom or a semi-private spot to change your daughter’s diaper, having to drop everything you’re doing to rush your son to the nearest restroom when he tells you he needs to go (and let me tell you, we did not always make it in time). It gets messy and noisy and incredibly emotional. It requires a lot of patience and a lot of mental and physical strength. I went through some miserable days where I became very frustrated and almost gave up on this entire trip, but then there were some wonderful days where the kids were surprisingly well-behaved and were having a wonderful time and it warmed my heart and made me glad to have them with me.

Despite the fact that many bad habits are formed during travel, and it feels like everything you’ve worked so hard on the past few years is destroyed, you’ll share some wonderful moments with them and have amazing shared experiences that you only get to truly explore through travel. Strong bonds will be formed and you become really close. You will also see a noticeable growth in them, in a very short time, and they will reveal sides to themselves that you never knew existed. They are guaranteed to surprise you in the best of ways and make you feel like an overemotional proud mama. Traveling puts children in situations that are completely outside their comfort zone and as they experience new sights and sounds, you realize how resilient and strong they really are and so much more flexible than we are. 

I may have been able to do and see so much more had I traveled alone, but having them with me created so many more memories that are honestly irreplaceable. So yes, although it was exhausting as hell and everyone was right, but the experience was also very rewarding and life changing, and I don’t regret it one bit.